"Headline?" "Swing Set Needs Home," I said. "Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home," he said. "Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children" I said. He laughed. "That’s why." "What?" "That’s why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival version of the word pedophile?"